Kung Fu Panda and the Communists of China Team Fortress 2
by No more Mercy Pootis
Summary: Obama sent Team Fortress 2 mercenaries to rid China of Communism.
1. Obama's plan

Kung Fu Panda and the Communists of China (+team fortress 2)

**In the world of team fortress 2 at Obama's secret government Lab**

Obama: for too long had China been a threat that we cannot control but now we have the power to prevent this for we have a time machine. We shall travel back in time and stop communism from ever spreading in China and destroy the man that made China what it is today! We must destroy Mao Zedong! (China's communist leader who defeated Japan in the World War 2 between Japan and China if you don't know)

Scientist: But this could be dangerous where are we going to find people crazy enough to go and complete the mission?

Other Scientist: I found some people wearing hats and fighting in the desert.

Obama: Great hire them right away!

**Obama gathered the team fortress 2 gang together**

Obama: I need you to go on a mission to rid China of communism once and for all so China will not be a threat to America no more!

Heavy: NO! (Throws buffalo steak sandvich at Obama)

Obama: I will through in a craft hat and 3 refine metals each.

Heavy: YES!

Soldier: We WILL rid China of Communism in the name of America and you all WILL help me!

Scout: Screw that I'm just in it for the hat.

Engineer: Alrighty rocket boy I'm in.

Medic: Jawohl.

(after everyone agrees) Obama: great now off you go.

Sniper: Ai mate what about our hat and 3 refined metals?

Obama: You'll get it when you come back.

Heavy: GO GO GO! (grabs the sniper and runs)

Scout: Uhh big guy, do you know where we're going?

Heavy: NO!

Obama: I'll have one of my scientist show you the way.

(Beong half drunk) Demoman: Ai what just happened?!

**While the team is leaving to go time traveling we enter the world of Kung Fu Panda...**


	2. The Accident

**Entering Po's world**

Po: Hi Tigress how's it going?

Tigress: Um… ok why?

Po: I have to talk to you.

Tigress: Sure why? What's wrong?

Po: You know the apple cart duck?

Tigress: He sells apples right?

Po: Yes you see today I saw him and I forgot to say hi to him and now I feel terrible.

Tigress: Why? You just forgot to say hello.

Po: But I always says hello to him I hope I didn't make him angry

Tigress: Relax he wouldn't even notice I'm sure I'd like it if you stopped talking to me

Po: Hahaha, nice one.

Po:Oh you're serious.

Crane: You got to relax no one's going to care if you didn't say hi to them like I don't can if you didn't say hi to me.

Po: I knew but I always say hi to the apple cart duck.

Monkey: I'm sure nothing's going to happen.

**Suddenly the doors of the Jade Palace exploded so powerfully that it may have ripped the very fabric of time and the apple cart duck came in.**

Apple Cart Duck: Well, well, well, SURPRISE TO SEE ME?!

Po: Um yeah kind of.

Apple Cart Duck: Guess what you forgot to say hi to me again!

Po: I'm really sorry I just kind of forgot.

Apple Cart Duck: HOW COULD YOU AFTER ALL WE'VE BEEN THROUGH! And now you're gonna pay! While you stayed in your fancy Palace I've mastered 12 impossible moves, sold my apple cart for a time machine, went back in time extinct the dinosaurs, went forward in time killed Hitler, met Saxton Hale who taught me 12 more impossible moves and the ability to control time!

Po: Ump, uh good for you?

Apple Cart Duck: now I shall bring you the pain you've caused me!

**Shifu and the Five tried to stop him but only to be beaten badly.**

Apple Cart Duck: WAS THAT PAIN OR JUST A HIPPIE ON MY BACK!

Po dodges the Apple Cart Duck's merciless hits that caused the Jade Palace to be almost torn to pieces.

Apple Cart Duck: PROPERTY DAMAGE!

With nowhere left to run Po said: Please vengeance isn't the answer!

Apple Cart Duck: I have planned something just for you and your friends WHICH YOU SAY HI TO! I'm going to send you guys to a random time in a different universe!

**Apple Cart Duck summons a void which sucks Po and friends in**

Apple cart Duck: MY JOB IS DONE, YOU'RE FINISHED.


	3. the battle

**In the year 1940, China When the Japanese invaded China**

Po: Oh my god what happened here?

Mantis: And where are we?

Shifu: You heard the apple cart duck we could be in a different universe in a different time.

Tigress: Nice going Po!

Po: Me?

Mantis: Yeah you, who else could we blame!

Po: Well I'm sorry, com'on let's find a nearby village and rest there until we find how to get back to our world.

Tigress: By the looks of here there had been some kind of war.

Monkey: No kidding.

Viper: Stop being sarcastic Monkey.

Po and friends went to look for a village.

**Meanwhile Back to the Team Fortress 2 gang**

Heavy: Yes! I am going to get my hat and 3 refined!

Engineer: Hold on a darn there moment we aren't got no clue where we are.

Sniper: You gonna standing around like a bunch of bloody idiots or we gonna get a move on.

Pyro: hmmph, mmmph, mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmph, mmmmmmmmph

Scout: Hey hard hat what's he saying?

Engineer: I reckon he said that we are in China and the ding dang war between China and Japan has already started.

Heavy: We must move NOW!

Spy: Gentlemen you might want to take a look that this. (Pointing at the spectate TV that he brought)

Obama on the TV: Soon, without Mao Zedong as their communist leader China will be no longer considered a threat and America will and always be the most power country!

Soldier: You heard the man WE WILL take down those commi scums.

Obama: also you roommate wants to talk to you

Merasmus: Soldier, it's your turn to do the laundry.

Soldier: Negative you WILL do the laundry for the sake of this Country and you WILL be happy for that I am off to empower our country.

Merasmus: That's what you said last time. Anyways have you seen by heart medicine?

Soldier: Heart medicine? I thought it was your kill-me-and-I-will-come-back-stronger medicine.

Merasmus: 10 thousand years of my life and being roommates with you is my worse mistake.

Soldier: I don't care if you are on a TV, I WILL make you pay for saying that DO YOU UNDERSTAND!

Soldier starts to beat up the spectate TV.

Sniper: This is getting embarrassing.

**Meanwhile back to Po and the others**

Po: Look a village!

As they enter the village the villagers all looked like they are the same species and are a bit scared of Po, Shifu, and the five.

Old man villager: So, the Japanese has sent bio monsters to do their dirty work eh? Will YOU WILL NOT TAKE ME ALIVE I WILL PLUCK OUT MY OWN EYEBALL TO MAKE YOU SCUMS BURN IN HELL! (Starts to attack Po with a Server-cleaning spoon equipped with medics killed and allies extinguished)

Po blocks the attacks skillfully for he was a master at Kung Fu: Look sir we're not here to fight we are just lost and wants to stay here for the night.

Tigress: We saw another village destroyed by what appeared to be a war what's going on?

Villager: Elder these people don't know anything they could not be working for the Japanese.

Shifu: The Japanese? Why would they attack us I thought China and Japan were at peace and if they did attack why didn't we fight back?

Elder villager: perhaps you are truly lost you haven't heard what happened did you? But how? It's been 3 years since the Japanese arrived.

Crane: What about the imperial army surely they must have done something about it for we out number them one hundred to one.

Elder villager: the imperial army is weak and cowardly they have slacked off while the Japanese developed technology and became powerful.

Shifu: but Technology can never beat Kung Fu people have tried to replace Kung Fu but they could not and never will succeed.

Elder villager: Not with one or two people but with an army, face it Kung Fu had long been over and replaced.

Po: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SHEN! I WILL MAKE YOU PAY!

Elder village: Who?

Crane: Ignore him.

Kid villager: Run, everyone! The Japanese are coming! Hide!

Elder villager: Hurry you guys can hide in the basement.

Po: No, we'll teach those people what Kung Fu can do, shakaboi!

Elder villager: Are you crazy? You want to fight them bare handed? They got guns!

Tigress: What's a gun?

Other villager: How could you not know what a gun is? It's those things that shoot metal things at high speed!

Monkey: They must be like Lord Shen's cannons.

Shifu: Fear not citizen we took on those things before and we'll do it again.

Po and friends saw the army arrive and are prepared.

Tigress: Remember we attack them at close range at a time so they can't use their cannons.

Viper: Gotcha.

As Tigress sneaked up and leaps towards one Japanese soldier, the soldier heard her pointed a wooden stick at her and what appears to be piece of metal came out of it along with a really loud noise which only missed her slightly. The rest of the army heard the gunfire and quickly came to the source of the noise.

Tigress: What was that?

Po: They heard the sound they're going to be coming.

Viper: We are doomed!

Mantis: This SUCKS

Then the elder villager came out with his server-cleaning spoon

Elder villager: Run! Run while you still can! I'll hold them off!

Po: No we must fight until the end!

Elder villager: RUN! (the army approaches him) I Ling Way decedent of the great Kung Fu master Oog Way Shall defeat this cursed army!

Just then Ling Way's server-cleaning spoon became an professional kill streak collectors spoon with peach blossom circling it as the kill streak effect. Never had the anyone in the entire Japanese army seen a weapon so rare, they are afraid and some even worships the weapon. Quickly ever so quickly did they sent trade requests to Ling Way offering keys, Bill's hats, Max's severed heads and unusuals without even checking the price of the spoon on tf2 spreadsheet or . Ling Way knew the army was stunted because they are trading so he attacked, alas the Japanese outnumber him thousand to one, Ling Way was outnumbered and died as a true warrior taking out the entire army.

Tigress: Ling Way! (Tries to rush to the village but stopped by Shifu)

Shifu: Ling Way is dead, we must move on and find a way to to end this.

Tigress: Yes master.

Po: I can't believe Ling Way didn't make it out alive siff. I loved that spoon- oh and Ling Way too yeah but that spoon...

Monkey: It is a nice spoon.

Viper we must move on guys.


	4. The Unexpected Encounter

**Now we return to the Team Fortress 2 team**

Soldier: I think I found Mao Zedong's base

Scout: Uh that's just a village, we don't even know where he is because you killed the TV.

Soldier: DO NOT LOOK AT ME I DID NOT ASK YOU A QUESTION!

Demoman: Why don't we ask that old lady there for directions.

Soldier: Stand aside I'm good with old ladies. (Walks up to the old lady) You WILL tell me where your communist leader is so we WILL kill him and you WILL tell no one of this. DO YOU UNDERSTAND?

Old lady: Who?

Scout: I don't think many people heard of Mao Zedong yet.

Soldier: She's bluffing, I may never get information out of her. Well played communists, well played.

Pyro: mmmmmphhh, mmmph, mmmmmmph,

Spy: Gentlemen I believe the Pyro is right, Mao Zedong must be in a big city with his troops.

Scout: Yeah wha'cha gonna do? Search every city in China?

Soldier: No this old lady WILL tell us where Mao Zedong is and we WILL find him! (Grabs the old lady by the collar)

**Then out of nowhere a bunch of what appeared to be animals that look like humans came.**

Po: (Thought that the Soldier is some kind of bandit) Let that old lady go villain.

Sniper: What the devil are those?

Soldier: Their communist leader has spotted us and are sending their secret goverment biological weapons to eliminate us!

Scout: What? Uh do you have any idea like any idea what time period we are in.

Soldier: DO NOT TALK TO ME I DID NOT ASK YOU A QUESTION! As for you (points at Po) you will tell me where your communist leader is and I WILL kill him in the name of America.

Po: Uhh I have no idea what your talking about or who America is so I'm just going to fight you.

Po leaps at the Soldier and belly butts him knocking the Soldier back, the Soldier quickly got back on his feet and throw a flying kick at Po. Po seeing the kick ducked and throw a left hook at the Soldier who blocked with a shovel that burst into flames.

Po: (Shaking his hand to put out the fire) Ah! What kind of shovel burst into flames?! (Front filp throws several punches at the Soldier who blocks them and counters with some jabs)

Soldier: My shovel may not be fancy for it dose not blog it does not play music and it bearly digs holes but it is my and-(Shovel burst into flames again) AND IT IS ON FIRE! (Drops the Shovel and punches Po with his hand that was on fire) My shovel bursts into flames so many times that my hand became fire-proof!

Po once again tries to belly-butt the Soldier but this time the Soldier pushes him back with a push kick and throw more jabs at Po. Po blocked the jabs and threw a right kick at the Soldier, the Soldier grabbed the kick and spun Po in mid-air. Po blocked several more attacks while spinning then he kicked the Soldier and did a backflip. The Soldier did a back-flip as well to absorb the blow.

Scout: Since when are you a Kung Fu master knucklehead?

Soldier: I am also a priest BUT THAT'S IN A DIFFERENT COUNTRY.

While the Soldier and Po are fighting some Japanese soldiers came and saw Soldier's uniform and badges (misc) and thought that he is a leader of some sort of rebellion against the Japanese.

Japanese soldier: Stop! You are accused of rebellion and should be arrested right away.

Soldier: And you are accused of having your neck broken (Breaks the Japanese soldier's neck)

Another Japanese soldier saw the Heavy's hat and said: That hat looks stupid.

Heavy: I have planed you pain without end. (Ate 2 Japanese soldiers along with some little boys)

Demoman: Huh? What! (Accidentally fires a sticky bomb explodes destroying millions of priceless artifacts of China and the philosopher's stone)

The Japanese soldiers ran away in fear and confusion into a nearby mountain which they couldn't find any food so they resorted to cannibalism.

Spy: Gentlemen, it seems while you were busy been idiots I have found Mao Zedong and killed him.

Engineer: Well, another satisfied costumer.

Heavy: What happens now?

Spy: It appears we have been betrayed (reveals a letter)

**Who is the traitor? Find out what happens next**

**Also plz leave a comment or a review and message me for new ideas.**


	5. A New Destiny

The Spy read the letter out loud: Hello people, sorry to say this but it appears we have a situation, getting you back to the present time will be harder than expected and the cost of it will be many times more than what I'm paying you. I have a government debt so I can't afford to get you out instead I'm going to waste billions of dollars hosting the Olympic games this year. I sent this letter to you so you won't be confused about the situation I hope you understands.

signed: Obama

Soldier: Boys we have a traitor!

Heavy: Obama is spy!

Scout: So let me get this right; we are stuck here forever.

Heavy: It's not possible!

Po: Um, could you guys fill me in on what I missed?

Heavy: NO! (Throws Buffalo Steak Sandvich at Po)

Po: Hmmm steak, but seriously what's going on?

Spy: But of course I shall explain it to you, panda...?

Po: Name's Po.

While the Spy explained to Po what happened Tigress, stood beside Po with her eyes only to see the man that changed her life forever. She saw his bravery, his fearlessness, she heard his shouts of such confidence and glory to his fellow teammate as he bravely spoke fearlessly:

Soldier: We are NOT doomed DO YOU UNDERSTAND?! Obama his became our enemy. If fighting resolves to victory then we must FIGHT. Sun Tzu said that and I'm sure he knows a little more about fighting than you do BECAUSE HE INVENTED IT! Then he...

Tigress blushed at the sight of the Soldier.

Viper: Are you blushing?

Tigress: No.

Tigress felt a strong bond between she and the Soldier she imagined in the middle of a furious battle with the Soldier by his side, both warriors fighting with honor, sacrifice, and love?

Scout: (Talking to Soldier) That's what you said last time when we were stuck in a tar pit.

Soldier: DO NOT TALK BACK, I DID NOT ASK YOU A QUESTION!

Crane: (Waving his wings in Tigress's face) Are you having a romantic daydream?

Tigress: (Realized that she's been daydreaming) No.

Spy: (finishing explaining to Po) Anyways that's what happened.

Po: Woah, are you guys like Spies going on a secret mission to travel back in time? Awwwsome.

Spy: Believe me I am the only spy. (Pointing at the Soldier beating up the Scout)

Po: Oh, but awesome...

Heavy: So what happens now doctor?

Then one of the villagers came out and saw the Japanese patrol squad defeated.

Villager: Are you guys part of the army that are looking for recruits to defeat the Japanese? I heard of you people.

Soldier: We are not- (Engineer covers the Soldier's mouth)

Engineer: Now look son, we need to get revenge on Obama so we first need and army, and I got a darn idea how to get one. (Tells the villagers) Look I' men engineer, I solve problems. Not problems like what is beauty or what is love I solve practical problems like how to stop someone from being mean and turning your village into a slowly dying dump? The answer, is with a gun if that doesn't work? Use more guns. Now (pointing at some weapons that he got from scrap banking) I made these and it's yours for the keeping if you lend us a hand if you get what I mean?

Heavy: In simple, join army and you get gun!

Villagers: Yeah!

Shifu: I believe we can also lend you our assistance.

Medic: Excellent!

Scout: Yeah, yeah!

Heavy: Everyone look I am credit-to-team.

Scout No!

Po: Tigress are you feeling okay you look a bit ill even like your in love...

Tigress: What? No, of corse not. (Punches Po aside)

**Will the team succeed? Find out next.**

**Also plz leave reviews and comments and message me for new ideas for the story. **


	6. Obama's Last Resort

**Meanwhile in Obama's secret government lab**

Obama: Soon without Mao Zedong as their leader America will rule as the dominant country of all time!

Scientist: Obama, I bring urgent news! My research show that those guys you tricked will actually build an army and get revenge on you!

Obama: Blast I suppose I should install some defenses to the White House causing more money going down the drain.

Scientist: That's not the worst of it sir, there's a extremely high chance that China will be more powerful than ever due to the fact that those guys you sent in armed with dangerous weapons which the Chinese could duplicate and they could be 100 years advance in technology compared to us.

Obama: No I will not allow it I have to stop it by all means.

Scientist: There's nothing we could do sir, I'm afraid even the mighty Obamacare can't cover for us.

Obama: We'll send another man back in time and destroy the army before it ever grew to that size.

Scientist: But where can we find someone to do it and is powerful enough to destroy an entire army?

Obama: We're sending him.

Scientist: Him? You don't mean?

Obama: I do.

Scientist: But you said-

Obama: Yes but desperate times calls for desperate measures.

Scientist: No! You can't! I won't allow you! (Reaches for gun only to be shot by Obama first)

Obama: Sorry but I must do what must be done.


	7. The deal

The plane was shot down, local Terrorists investigated the ruins to search for survivors. Obama came out.

Terrorist: Halt Obama what are you doing here you're not suppose to be here. I will have somebody give you a ride back for the sake of our agreement.

Obama: I came to talk to your leader.

Terrorist: Very well you may speak to him but we never thought you'd finally take the offer...

Obama: Desperate times calls for Desperate measures.

The Terrorist took Obama to a building where guarded by many terrorist.

Voice: So we meet again...

Obama: Yes Osama Bin Laden.

Osama: So are you really up to the offer?

Obama: I'm afraid so.

**What happened before...**

Obama had an assault team to destroy the terrorists' leader Osama Bin Laden all when according to plan they found Osama, defeated his troops and had Osama pinned down but then little did Obama know that Osama had hired the one person that turned their defeat into victory by himself, a one man army and it was Saxton Hale who single handedly took down the entire assault team with his bare hands. Knowing defeat Obama had no choice but to do the unthinkable, he sent Osama a trade request and was willing to trade his vintage earbud and 5 refined metals in return for peace. Osama agreed and let Obama return to the White House safely and faked his own death by letting Obama say that the assault team killed Osama Bin Laden. On the way Osama told Obama ' I always wanted a unusual team captain with burning effect and I will do you a favour if you trade it to me Obama.'

**Now back to the present.**

Osama: So what bring you to such a desperate action? You know the price of a burning team captain is never going to drop unlike the five refined metals you gave me which can't even buy me a key now.

Obama: I need you to take care some people.

Osama: Why do you get me but not just hire normal mercenaries?

Obama: Because I want you to travel back in time and destroy an army...

Osama: Consider it done and the unusual hat?

Obama: Here.

Obama added **unusual team captain**

_you are ready_

_trade completed_

you got no new items

Osama: Terrorists move out.

**Sorry about the short chapters there's going to be longer chapters after I promise and please leave a review or a comment and message me for new ideas for the story.**


	8. The Break Up

**China 1940,**

Po: Uhh Spy what do you guys know about training an army?

Spy: Why of course, we got Soldier right there he's uhh well his the best we can do.

Soldier: Now point the rocket launcher at your feet and fire it in order to preform a rocket jump.

Villager: Uhh is this safe?

Soldier: Remember pain is just weakness leaving the body.

Spy: Oh, please! Well he is in need of assistance right there. Scout go help the Soldier.

Scout: No way knucklehead! Last time I helped him move his stuff out of a castle and into a box then he broke my arms.

Po: Sooo how did the Soldier became a soldier?

Spy: Well, for starters his roommate is a magician need I go on?

Po: Nope.

Spy: Well, the moment has passed. Now who is going to help Soldier?

Tigress: Me.

Po: Um, Tigress are you sure about this?

Tigress: Yes. (Sigh happily)

Tigress: Soldier, it's an honor to work with you. (Soldier salutes her then faces the villagers) Now in order to become a warrior you must work hard, be disciplined...

Engineer: I reckon I installed the defenses let's make this here our outpost.

Medic: Excellent, another success in procedure!

Shifu: Now all we need is a strategist someone that can inspire people to join our army in order to obtain more Soldiers and have greater numbers of loyalist soldiers who we can trust the most.

Engineer: I got Scout to do that.

Scout: Denied, hard-hat I hate speeches and I don't do reading and writing.

Spy: So who did you give the job to?

Scout: Gave it to tons-of-fun right there.

Pyro: Mmmmph, mmmmph, mmmmmmmmmph!

Demoman: Ai, the Pyro's bloody right. does the bloody heavy looks like a BLOODY inspirational figure to you?

Scout: Well, he's been working his butt off over there maybe the bald man's on to something.

Sniper: Ahh piss! he's awful he can't inspire no one!

The Heavy Spent Hours in the library at first he started to read simple books like big picture books then he moved on to the advanced Xbox for dummies books learning all about the importance of friendship and teamwork. He was not through he saw a greater calling for friendship and something deep inside him felt it. Then he fell asleep after reading for 15 minutes and he had a dream...

**Heavy's Dream**

Heavy: where am I

Strange person: So you wanted to know your destiny do you not?

Heavy: YES!

Strange person: Then believe in yourself... believe...

Mao Zedong came grabs a gun shot the other person.

Heavy: It's not possibly! You are died not big surprise.

Mao Zedong: Your fate has been chosen, you will lead the people of China.

Heavy: I cannot lead heeeelp now!

Mao Zedong: I sense communism deep inside you, use that communism use it and lead the people to their rightful destiny...

communism...

communism...

communism...

BONK!

**Heavy wakes up saw Scout hitting him with the bat**

Heavy grabs Scout and runs to where the others are.

Heavy: EVERYONE I have plan for you!

Soldier: Heavy what are you talking about?!

Heavy: We must build COMMUNISM.

Engineer: Heck no.

Soldier: I WILL NOT be communism and you WILL NOT make me.

Heavy: EEEAAAAHHHH! (Punches soldier in the face)

Soldier fell on the ground and the Heavy tries to leap on to him. Tigress came and kicked Heavy in the knee, Pyro joined in lights Soldier's helmet on fire, Heavy grabs Scout throws the Scout at Soldier then everyone joined in except for Shifu and Medic who were talking about managing food suplies and the price of Mann Co supply keys.

Shifu: A wise choice but are you sure it can hold us till then?

Medic: If ze food runs low zen we just have to-(Scout:) I REGRET EVERYTHING I REGRET EVERYTHING THAT I'VE EVER DONE!

Heavy: This is just the beginning of the pain i will cause you!

Shifu: What is going on here stop immediently!

Medic heals them.

Po: We must be a team we can't just fight each other.

Heavy: Right we could fight each other and die or ve team up and fight tiny-baby-man and because we are team ve share happy and sadness and that's what communism is all about. Now what coward is not in?

Heavy's inspirational speech has given the villagers the courage and inspiration to become great warriors and was remembered throughout generations and brought tears of pride to his parent's who were not yet born yet.

Soldier: Negative I WILL NOT join and I WILL leave you people.

Tigress: I feel no love for communism I'm with Soldier.

Po: Guys please don't go.

Tigress: Sorry Po, it's who I am...

The others joined Heavy, Soldier and Tigress left early the next morning without a word to anybody.


	9. The Nationalists

Soldier had always hated communism it's one of the reasons why he never trusted the Heavy when he first met the time they had became good friends, sheared a good laugh over the guy they killed but this reminds him of what he felt like the first time he met the Heavy. 'I WILL carry on without him' he thought over and over but it felt like the Heavy is dead to only Him.

Tigress: Are you alright? You look like you are in much pain.

Soldier: Pain is just Weakness leaving the body I assure you I am getting stronger as I am in pain.

Tigress: What it the cause to your pain?

Soldier: The loathing of communists.

The journey was silent just the way Tigress liked it but seeing the Soldier depressed made her feel the same way. She had missed Shifu and friends but what made her especially sad is seeing Soldier in pain.

Just then a bunch of people appeared out of the forest.

Soldier: You WILL stand aside and you WILL go back to where ever fancy tree people came from.

Osama: Well, well, well, you're all alone and we out number you so you shouldn't be making demands should you?

Tigress: Bandits.

Osama: No we're not bandits we are terrorists and we have came to kill you ordered by Obama. Name's Osama Bin Laden.

Soldier: You... you're supposed to be dead and if your weren't why would you be working for Obama.

Osama: That's none of your business and now we'll kill you.

Soldier: I don't care how many times we'll have to kill you I WILL kill you!

More terrorists came out of the woods each armed with weapons and started shooting at Soldier and Tigress. The Soldier grabs Tigress and rocket jumps to safety while blowing up some Terrorists.

Tigress: We're out numbered we can't defeat all of them.

Soldier: No! We WILL kill them even if it kills me... but then I would be dead so I can't kill them... WHAT THE HECK!

Tigress: You can't defeat all of them can you?

Soldier: I have no idea! You're a good warrior, maybe even the best but run. (shoves Tigress out of the way raised he shovel to the sky) (lightning strikes the Soldier but he just stood there not moving)

Then...

Soldier: I am the painis cupcake and I will eat you.

Almost snake like the soldier moved towards the terrorists. The terrorists fired but the Soldier did not even care. The Soldier ate one terrorist after another while he is taking a lot of bullets.

Terrorist: HE'S A MONSTER HE'S A BLOODY CANNIBALISTIC MONSTER- (Soldier ate him)

Osama: He shall not beat us if it's cannibalism he wants then we'll give him cannibalism! Eat him before he eats us!

The Soldier ate as much terrorists as he could but there where too many then one terrorist bit him in the shoulder, the Soldier fell down lost concious. It looked like he was about to met his doom when suddenly some Chinese soldiers came and fired at the terrorists.

Chinese soldier: Hurry we can't hold them off much longer

Tigress: Help me carry him (carries the soldier into a army truck)

Chinese soldier: What the hell are you?

Tigress: You see I am-(more gun fires) Never mind I'll explain later.

The soldiers fired at the terrorists but were no match then, a commander shouted to retreat and soldiers got back into the trucks and drove as fast as they could.

**Soldier woke up next morning**

Soldier: Where am I?

Tigress: We were saved by some soldiers of the Nationalists army. Also how did you tear though all those terrorists like that?

Soldier: Merasmus cast some sort of spell on me to 'make me less crazy' and instead it gave me a new personalty that is even more crazy. Also the spell made me a cannibal. But on to new business (grabs one of the Nationalists soldiers)I am in your army and you WILL accept me DO YOU UNDERSTAND?

**The Soldier quickly got promoted to higher ranks of the Nationalists army for he was a military genius with Tigress by his side. Then one day the Soldier and Tigress were seating in font of the Soldier's tent.**

Tigress: So what's your plan now Soldier?

Soldier: I planned to take over as leader once i got to higher ranks and then I WILL make this a Democracy army.

Tigress: It's been over a few years since we met and... well I like you.

Soldier: Come here sweetheart.


	10. The Communists Rising

**Now we return to Po and the gang the day after Soldier and Tigress left.**

Because Mao Zedong is dead the original communist army has no leaders and fell appart.

Heavy: What happens now?

Villager: Intel shows that there is another communist army but however was closed down after their leader died mysteriously perhaps we could recruit those soldiers.

Po: Then we must get going.

Engineer: Incoming!

Pyro: mmmmph, mmmmph! Mmmph.

Spy: After you.

Because the fact that they had made the village an military outpost, many Japanese forces were killed when they try to invade the village and the higher Japanese commanders have deployed bigger armies against the Heavy's army.

Po: Everyone battle stations!

Heavy: I promise them pain and suffering. Pootis pow! (Shot down a plane with his taunt attack)

The battle was tragic, Heavy fought bravely but the Japanese forces managed to kill the Sandvich.

Heavy: Ohhhh NOO! How could this happen?

Influenced by rage the Heavy ate all the Japanese soldiers along with planes.

Po: How...? How did you even eat the planes?

Heavy: I eat them as I eat sandvich... Sandvich rest in place old friend.

Rumours of the Heavy spread all over China. People say he was a poet, a skilled plumber and a great war hero. He was 'Unlike the world had ever seen' and 'Fell out of the sky in blazing ball of flame'

Po: No I fell out of the sky he is the communist leader and I don't even know if he is a good plumber or not.

Soon more even random rumours spread; they say the Heavy is a man of science, a ruthless leader, a fake clown, and the master of disguise.

Spy: Oh please.

More rumors spread out that know one keeps track anymore. But the Heavy visited many villages in search of recruits and the villagers worships him as a master, a brilliant leader, some even think of him as a god.

Citizen: Is it true you beat Obama in an arm wrestling contest by using the Wu Shi finger hold?

Reporter: Please tell us how you stopped world hunger by establishing cannibalism.

Another villager: Why did you ate the emperor's throne?

Little kid: What inspired you to invent the bean bun?

Store owner: Are you currently On Weed?

Heavy: NO!

Po: So Medic how did those rumours spread anyways? And have you seen Spy?

Medic: Spy's in Ze Japanese army looking for intel on army movement and I have no idea what became of Ze rumours.

Heavy (On a stage): Citizens we must build communism. Join me, I dare you.

Citizens: Yeah!

Engineer arms the Citizens who chose to become parts of the army.

Shifu: Excellent now our army is big enough to be a truly lethal threat to Japan and with the Spy as our inside source we can plan ahead of time.

As the Heavy's army was marching to another city which the Spy told them was captured by the Japanese and that their defenses fell short due to some riots the city, little did they know that Osama's troops was waiting to ambush.

Heavy: It's good day to be giant man hahaha! ohhhh that slaps me on the knee.

Just then, the terrorists appeared opened fires.

Heavy had brought just enough army to recapture the city but not nearly enough to take on Osama's terrorist army.

Heavy: Ohhhh NOO!

Osama: YOU MUST DIE!

Heavy: No! (Throws steak sandvich at Osama)

Osama: Take no prisoners!

Chinese soldier: Retreat! Defend the captain!

Engineer: No! (Faces Osama) I'me done playing games with you boy.

Spy come out of nowhere.

Spy: It appears you have a spy in your hands Osama.

Osama: Doesn't matter you are only one man you can't stop me.

Spy: I already did, (Hands Demoman a detonation button) Now shall we?

Demoman: Ohh I'm gonna beat you so hard you'll have a twitch!

Demoman presses button, some bombs explodes killing a huge number of terrorists

Osama tried to retreat Spy blocks him.

Spy: You know, hiding won't save you. Let's settle this like gentlemen! (Pulls out his knife)

Osama: Very well I challenge you to a man-eating contest!

Spy: What? Uhh very well.

Spy, a assassin was not experienced in the art of man eating and it looks like that the Spy was about to lost then...

Heavy: NO! Let's settle this man vs tiny baby man.

Osama: There has not been one that can beat me in the dreaded art of man-eating.

Osama was good real good even a master but little did he know of the Heavy's skills. The Heavy ate like crazy and was a true master of this art Osama could not win so he grabbed his gun, shot the Heavy in the stomach and managed to retreated with the remaining terrorists.

Osama: We lost far too many good man out there we need a new tactic.

Terrorist: How about suicide bombing?

Osama: Yeah, we'll bomb them the way they bombed us but this time we'll have a plan.

Terrorist: So master what's the Plan?

Osama: Fake our death once again and then when their army killed the Japanese we'll bomb four of their biggest headquarters and the rest of us can attack from the outside and then the remaining of their army would be torn when the nationalists wage war against the communists. Leaving China Weaker than ever.

Terrorists: our army has almost died off entirely we'll need some recruits.

Raider: You are in our territory pay the fee to pass or we kill you all.

Osama: I think we found our recruits.

**Back to Heavy and the gang.**

Because of Medic's advanced healing technology they were able to heal most of the soldiers back to health.

Heavy: Many thanks Spy!

Engineer: I guess sometimes you got the mightiest touch.

Spy: But of course.

Po: Woah, that was amazing how did you know that the terrorists were coming?

Crane: Yeah you were at one of the Japan military officer's camp.

Spy: I came back to tell you... Oh right! I almost forgot Soldier joined the Nationalists.

Scout: So?

Spy: Don't you see we have now officially became the communists army.

Scout: Hey I don't do history give it to me plain.

Pyro: Mmmmmmph, mmmmph, mmmmph!

Spy: I believe the Pyro is right, as recorded in history not long after the communist defeated the Japanese the Nationalists will wage war on the communists.

Po: What!? You mean we have to fight Tigress and Soldier?

Spy: I believe so.

Demoman: Wait I thought that America bloody bombed the Japanese.

Spy: Yes but that is not the point.

Demoman: Can't we bomb them before America bombs them?

Engineer: We ain't got nuclear bombs boy.

Demoman: Bloody hell! Those were me favorites.

Over the years Heavy's army grew to greater states, his forces advanced on to the Japanese pushing them back severely. Chiang Kai-shek (Leader of nationlists) however focused more on ways to eliminate the communists. As the war waged on eventually the nationalists were forced to team up with the communists and take back China however this could be only a temporary alliance.

**Please leave a review of a comment and message me for new ideas.**


	11. Soldier's plan

**Now we return to the Soldier.**

Soldier: I came to see Chiang Kai-shek.

Nationalist soldier: This way.

The nationalist soldier lead Soldier to a large.

Chiang: So soldier you wanted to see me?

Soldier: Yes.

Chiang: In your records you have achieved amazing goals, and a military genius, and you came from America yes?

Soldier: Yes sir.

Chiang: So tell me, why not be an American soldier?

Soldier: I got rejected by every branch in U.S. Military, so I bought a ticket to Europe, located Poland and went on a Nazi killing spree in which time I was awarded several medals that I designed and made myself. Then the war ended I went back to America, got a roommate who was a magician, fought in a desert, and got sent back in time by Obama.

Chiang: I did not get a word you said but what brings you here?

Soldier: I want to be leader of the KMT. (The nationalist army)

Chiang: You want me to give up being leader and let you take charge?

Soldier: Affirmative.

Chiang: Are you crazy?!

Soldier: Affirmative.

Chiang: Permission denied.

Soldier: I have a feeling you are going to say that. (Snaps Chiang's neck)

Soldier: (Uses Chiang Kai-shek's body as a puppet) Gather all generals here I will make an announcement.

Soldier: (steps drops Chiang's body) At once my leader.

**The generals arrives**

Soldier: (Ragdolls Chiang's body) Attention, I am going to step down as leader.

The Generals gasped.

Soldier: (Pretending to be Chiang) I am sorry but I have to go um... On a Nazi killing spree yeah, then... I'm going to the moon to... Umm find the moon rabbit and um... Live on the moon for ugh... 10 years- no wait make that forever yeah that's it.

General: Why are you going on a Nazi killing spree?

Soldier: Did I say you could ask questions? NO! You're demoted.

Other General: Send a post card from the moon when you have the time sir.

Soldier: I will. So anyways I'm giving the rank of leader to the Soldier who um... Got a spine injury so he could not be here.

General: It makes sense to me.

Soldier: Anyways off to Poland I go.

**The next day...**

Soldier: Well Tigress, I AM the leader now and I WILL make some changes.

Tigress: I wish you good fortune my love.

**At the office.**

KMT soldier: You are the new Leader now what will be your command?

Soldier: First promote Tigress.

KMT soldier: Consider it done.

Soldier: Second, we are no longer the nationalists we are officially the democrats.

KMT soldier: What? But-

Soldier: DID I say you can talk? Now as your punishment run a lap on Mars.

KMT soldier: Yes sir.

After years of research, and determination that soldier finally built a rocket that can fly to Mars but was unfortunately realized that there is no oxygen on Mars and died

**Now we return to Soldier.**

Another KMT soldier came to replace the other KMT soldier

Soldier: Now we shall no longer be called Kuomintang we will be called the Screaming Eagles SE for short. Now spread the word.

RM soldier: Are you sure about this sir?

Soldier: Affirmative.

RM soldier: Okay then.

Soldier Now that the little things are out of the way, time to make some big changes...

**Please right a review or leave a message and remember to message me if you have new ideas.**


	12. Matter of business

**Returning to Heavy (now aka pootis leader)**

Po: Huh...

Monkey: What's the matter Po?

Po: I miss Tigress it's being a few years since she left.

Monkey: She'll be fine.

Po: But didn't you hear the spy we are going to be at war with the nationalists I can't believe we have to fight Tigress and Soldier.

Monkey: Com'on Po you heard the Engineer, once he finishes building that time machine/universe teleporter/tea maker we can get Tigress and Soldier and go home.

Po: Do you really think so?

Monkey: I know so buddy.

Po: I can't believe that Tigress liked the Soldier I mean the Soldier's you know, crazy.

Monkey: Cheer up maybe the Soldier will be sane once we got home. Now come on, the Spy says he had and important announcement.

**At the meeting.**

Spy: Ahem, gentlemen.

Everyone quiets down.

Spy: It seems we had became an powerful army?

People agreeing.

Spy: But did anyone happens to get the Soldier back on our side?

Engineer: Heck no.

Spy: Then we still got a problem. My intel shows that Soldier has officially became the nationalist's leader details are quite blurry but the word is that he's turning the nationalists into democrats.

Po: Hehe what are you a member of his fan club?

Spy: AcctuaLLY, that would be Tigress! (Pulls out pictures of Soldier and Tigress making out)

Po shocked holding the pictures

Spy: This is going to be much worse then porngraphy, now he may be planing to f-ck us.

Engineer: It just ain't right.

Sniper: It is right mate. At the end of the day there's gonna be the two of us armies left and one must want the other dead

Spy: I'm afraid the Sniper is right gentlemen, we are mercenaries we know this better than anyone else.

Heavy: I am Pootis leader guy, and THIS, this is my army, we have ninety thousand people and no one can stand against us for more than 9 minutes. Hahaha, they think they can outsmart us? Maybe... maybe but I yet meet one that can outsmart bullet. You, yes you. (Pointing at a communist soldier) Send word to Soldier 'We kill tiny baby man first (referring to the Japanese soldiers) then we settle business.

Communist soldier: Right away pootis leader!

Heavy: It is good day to be giant man.

Po: Engineer how long until you finish building that time machine/universe teleportation device/ tea maker thingie?

Engineer: I don't know boy, could take years.

Shifu: Then we must proceed with the war plans on Japan first then, I'm sure we can discuss the with the Soldier about further plans. After all at the moment we are allies.

Scout: I DO not like our chances of that.

Demoman: That Scout is bloody right.

Mantis: Uh, guys I believe that's not all of our problems what about that terrorist guy that ambushed us? He's bad news.

Spy: True, but we destroyed much of their forces the only way they're a threat is.. Is...

Demoman: They're gonna bloody bomb us!

Po: Bomb us?

Spy: In our time Osama's Terriorists were a huge threat to America they suicide bombed a lot of major buildings but fortunately only succeeded on bombing one or two if you count the twin towers as two buildings.

Shifu: So you think that he's going to do that again bombing every major military outpost leaving the remaining not nearly strong enough to do anything?

Spy: I do believe you're right.

Demoman: Then we must bloody bomb them first!

Heavy: SPY, get intel on location of tiny baby man. Demoman bomb them.

Po: Your getting this being leader thing down well.

Heavy: Many thanks.

Engineer: Well, I guess that'll do.

Viper: so all that's left is the matter of the Japanese army.

Heavy: I have new way to kill cowards. Come with me...

**Find out what happens next and message me for new ideas also leave a review.**


	13. Democrats To Battle

Tigress sat down beside a tree meditating. So much had happened in the past few years, she had found love, became co-leader of an army, traveled to a different universe but can she really be at war with Po and the others? Than Soldier came.

Soldier: I had just sent forces to destroy Osama's headquarters so they can not bomb us.

Tigress: Are we really going to be at war with the communists when we beat the Japanese?

Soldier: They WILL surrender. We have more troops they WILL be no match for us.

SE soldier: Sir a letter arrived from the pootis man.

Soldier: (After looking at the letter) Tell them I agree to those terms.

Soldier: Also sell all of mine refine metal for keys. (The price of keys was 2.33 in the past and only rises in recent years)

SE soldier: Right away sir.

Suddenly a Japaneses assault team arrived.

Soldier picked up 1 in each hand and ate them. The assault team tried to shoot him but Soldier ate the bullets sold the guns for 1 scrap each at tf2 outpost.

Soldier: (Told the last person) Run home to you leader and tell him your man-eating skills are no match for me.

Soldier: Alright men we're taking those Japanese scum DOWN! Move out men! We are launching an all out attack on them next stop, Japan.

SE soldier: But we have not planned this and still haven't taken back China yet so with all due respect, are you crazy sir?

Soldier: YES!

SE soldier: At least we'll find you some better weapons sir.

Soldier: No! This is MINE shovel it's not expensive, it's not fancy, it barley dig holes but it is MINE and (shovel burst into flames) IT IS ON FIRE!

SE soldier: Very will I shall get a fire extinguisher and alert the army. But are you sure about this?

Soldier: I have no idea but if I could tell fortunes I would say yes I am sure but I would have to borrow Merasmus' crystal ball thing even though he told be not to go anywhere near it so it would be hard for me to be telling fortunes in the first place.

Se soldier: I have no idea what you just said.

Soldier: Move out!

Se soldier: That I understand.

**Please write a review of leave a message and me if you have new ideas and thanks.**


	14. Invasion On Japan

Spy: Osama is dead. Apparently Soldier has sent forces to destroy them before we arrived. Osama's man-eating skills were good but they were out numbered, they tried to suicide-bomb the whole place but was stopped.

Heavy: Osama is dead!

Spy: Indeed. Also Soldier's planing an all-out attack on the Japanese.

Shifu: Soldier may be an military genius but he does't have our technology or our sanity we have to assist him.

Heavy: I have new weapon for killing cowards all will fear my new weapon.

Scout: Uhh big guy you haven't showed us yet remember you were about to but then you got shot in the head by a Japanese sniper.

Heavy: Ohh that slaps me on the knee. Come meet new weapon.

Engineer: Is... Is that?

Heavy: Yes! I have nuclear bomb.

Scout: Where the heck did you get that?

Heavy: Last week I had dream; I saw tiny elves,I grabbed one, ate it and when I wake up giant bomb fell on my head.

Po: What exactly is it?

Engineer: The nuclear bomb, I reckon one of the deadliest bombs there is, can wipe out a city leaving nothing but radiation in it's wake. (Looks closer at the bomb) Wait just a darn second, this thing's made out of ding dang bread!

Heavy: What?! Stupid stupid stupid!

Engineer: Well, I guess we have to give the Soldier some doggone help.

Heavy: Come, we fight like men.

Medic: Excellent!

Heavy: You, (Points at a general) tell army to move out. Today we fight tiny babyman.

Communist soldier: Right away pootis leader.

**The journey as long, the communists bravely marched to the shore then they tried to march into the ocean but realized that they can't so the Heavy sold a high-tier unusual hat for five thousand of the finest battleships and four more refined. At last the crew set sail on an epic quest to defeat the Japanese but then they realized they took a wrong turn and ended up in the Bermuda triangle, with great like navigation skills done by the Demoman the army finally arrived at Japan and saw Soldier's forces who were already there and have set up camps.**

Heavy: Look! There is Soldier!

Soldier's army had set up camp not too far from the coast that they arrived.

Tigress: Soldier look, is... Is that Po and the gang?

Soldier rocket jumped to Heavy.

Soldier: You WILL help me capture Japan DO YOU UNDERSTAND?

Heavy: Very will.

**The attack has lasted for a month, With Soldier and Tigress's well planed tactics and Heavy's technology (Über charge, Sentries/dispensers, mini-gun) and influencing speeches as well as Po's noodle soups they managed to push through with minimum loss of troops.**

Soldier: They had retreated into one of their most fortified cities as well as withdrawing troops from China to support them, once we capture this point we WILL win. However they have tanks, planes, and heavy artillery, infiltration WILL be hard.

Scout: Get on the cap guys!

Heavy: Everyone ready?

Communist soldiers: Ready Pootis leader.

Medic: Ubercharge ready!

Po: Get ready to feel the thunder!

Po got striked by lightning, Medic heals him.

Monkey: Where is Spy?

Shifu: Spy infiltrated the city and is going to help us by disable some defenses.

Heavy: Eaahhhhh! (Charges at the city with the two armies)

Japanese artillery fires.

Heavy: Doctor are you sure about this?

Medic: I have no idea!

At the moment the artilleries hit all the field medics activates their Über charge.

Japanese officer: What was that?! Why are they not dying?! You, (Points at a Japanese soldier) Signal for the airstrike.

Spy: (Reveals his disguise) Sorry to pop in unannounced. (Shoots the officer)

The real Japanese soldier came and said: Sir when will we deploy the airstrike?

Spy: (Disguised as the officer) Why don't we give up partner? Here, (Hands him a bar of gold) now leave.

Japanese soldier: You want me to betray my country?!

Spy: I'll throw in a craft hat. (Gives him one of the officer's hats)

Japanese soldier: Sure, good luck officer!

Spy: My pleasure.

Soldier grabs Tigress and rocket jumps on to the walls, a few Japanese soldiers tired to stop them Tigress kicked one over the wall and soldier picked up two and ate them along with a nearby jar of wax. Then he threw Tigress besides the gates and Tigress placed a bunch of sticky bombs that the Demoman gave her down and ran for cover while taking out a few more Japanese soldiers.

Demoman: KaBEE! (Detonates the sticks main gates burst open along with the blood and body parts of a few Japanese soldiers) They're going to have to glue you back together... IN HELL!

Japanese commander: They destroyed the main gates! Deploy the tanks! (Soldier smashes The commander's skull with his shovel)

The shovel explodes and burst into flames.

Soldier: Oh for the love of... (Ate the commander instead)

Tigress: They got tanks! Be careful.

Soldier: I'm on it. (Rocket jumps up launches 3 rockets at a group of tanks) Maggots!

Heavy: TANKS incoming!

Heavy charged into a crowd of tanks and tried to gun some down, as well as ate some but there was too many.

Soldier: Attack! (Blows the buff banner)

SE soldiers rocket jumped over the walls and attacks into the city.

Soldier: Engineer place a teleporter here.

Engineer: I'm on it. (Places a teleporter) Teleporter going up.

Po: (Using the Wu Shi finger hold on one of the soldiers) Sagdosh! (The soldier blows into pieces)

Demoman: Good shot lad. (Bombs more Japanese soldiers)

Po: Thanks.

Heavy: Scout, move up!

Scout: I got it, I got it.

Soldier: Heavy need some help here! (Hid behind a wall to dodge the bullets)

Heavy: All will fear my giant new gun and my man eating skills. (Charged at the group of Japanese soldiers and gunned them down.

Skilled Japanese Soldier: Let's settle this with honor!

Heavy: Challenge accepted. Your skills of man-eating is no match for me!

Skilled Japanese Soldier: We shall see.

the Japanese soldier was indeed skilled but he was no match for the Heavy.

Soldier: Heavy, that was an amazing killings-spree!

Heavy: Thank you!

Soldier: Let's give this soup can hell! (Throws a soup can a Japanese tank)

The Japanese fought hard but Soldier and Heavy's armies both had advance technology making the Japanese army didn't stand a chance. Pretty soon the entire city was captured.

Demoman: Now it's our flipping point!

Soldier: Each and everyone of you deserves a medal! And that is why I'm giving you medals that I designed and made myself. (Hands everyone a medal)

Scout: Why does this medal have a picture of you beating up a Nazi on it?

Soldier: I have leftovers from my Nazi killing spree.

Heavy: Very good.

Person voice: It's not over yet...

**Find out what will happen next and leave a review or message and email me if you have new ideas.**


	15. The Celebration

Person voice: Heavy I challenge you to a man-eating contest.

Heavy: Little little man, you cannot beat me.

Person: perhaps my unusual hat tells you differently.

The person indeed have an unusual hat.

Engineer: Gasp, that there unusual is at least worth 10 buds plus sweets.

Heavy: It's not possible!

Person enough talk I challenge you!

Heavy: You may have unusual but I have this! (Holds out an gold man-eating badge of duelling) I am best man-eater in history of world!

Person: We shall see.

The person was good, real good in fact he was even better than the Heavy. Just when he was about to beat the Heavy,

Po: NOOOO! (Chucks a dumpling at him)

Heavy took advantage of that moment and pinned the person down.

Heavy: Who are you? Where you get unusual?

Person: You'll never find out, ever! It will haunt you for the rest of your life HAUNT you, you hear? HAUNT YOU!

The person bravely and dramatically ate himself until there was nothing left of him.

Po: How is that even possible?

Shifu: We may never find out.

The Soldier and the Heavy's army arrived back to China to be greeted with citizens cheering and shouts of happiness.

Heavy: I am credit to team!

Soldier: (Announcing to the citizens) If fighting is resulted to victory, then we must fight!...

Po: Well, we finally did it we defeated the Japanese.

Demoman: Let's bloody celebrate!

At their outpost they threw a big party and everyone got drunk.

Po: Spy, you don't seem to have that good of a time?

Spy: I believe the real battle is just about to begin.

Po: What do you mean?

Spy: Don't you see I could have went to Japan, kill the leader, disguise as him order them to end the war, and eat road pills for the rest of my life the moment Japan had became our enemy.

Po: So why didn't you?

Spy: Once we destroyed the Japanese we have no neutral enemies, Soldier will still became leader of the nationalist and then we would be at war. My plan was to let the Engineer finish building the time machine/Monstrosity so we could all travel back to our time and once again share the neutral enemy that is Obama. But who would've thought that Soldier would launch an attack on Japan the moment he became leader?

Po: So war, the real war is near?

Spy: I believe so.

Shifu:(Drunk) Once upon a time cheese demons took over the world... and it's... it's probably not real because I made it up. (Fell to the floor)

Heavy: Hoho, that slaps me on the knee!

Demoman: If I was the man I was... Oh I'm a monster (Sob) I'm a bloody monster...

Engineer: Drunk on the battle field is no way to be son.

Monkey: I'm getting dizzy...

Spy:(Pours himself a glass of wine) I guess I might as well.

Mantis: Help! I'm drowning in this cup of beer!

By morning everyone passed out because that the food was food poisoned.

**Thanks for reading, find out what will happen next, leave a review or message and remember to mail me for new ideas.**


	16. The War Begins

**The next day.**

Communist soldier: Pootis leader Soldier is here to see you.

Heavy: Many thanks, bring him in.

Soldier: Now that we are the leaders of this country we should enable more freedom and voting aloud so citizens can finally live in democracy. We'll use similar laws as America in our time and-

Heavy: No! I have plans for country, we must build Communism. Country will be weak after War so we must use communism to ensure we all survive, we be team, we be communist.

Soldier: Negative, we WILL live in democracy and you WILL not stop me from doing so!

Heavy: NO! You cannot do that I am also leader of country.

Soldier: If I have to break some bones I WILL. We out number your army ten to one you WILL NOT beat me!

Heavy: Your going to need much bigger gun to stop mine army! We have better gun than you, you cannot win!

Soldier: You WILL surrender and I WILL make this a democracy country.

Heavy: No! You will be communist like others that joined me.

Soldier: Very well, prepare for war Heavy.

Heavy: Bring it tiny baby man.

Soldier left.

Heavy: You, (Points at a communist soldier) Call generals for meeting.

Communist soldier: Right away pootis leader.

**At the meeting.**

Heavy: We are at war with Soldier.

Engineer: It just ain't right, I reckon the Soldier's a doggone friend.

Po: Heavy, please you can't do this. Soldier and Tigress are our friends do you really wants to kill them?

Heavy: I do what I must.

Spy: Gentlemen don't you realize we still share the same enemy.

Heavy: Who?

Spy: I believe it is Obama.

Scout: Uhh yes but we have no way to get to him.

Engineer: My contraption just takes to dingdang long to build. At this current rate we'll still need at least a few years.

Heavy: We attack first thing tomorrow.

Po: Sigh...

**At Soldier's headquaters**

Soldier: You see Tigress we'll surround them here (pointing at places on a map) then the reinforcements will attack here, here, and here.

Tigress: Do we really have to be at war with Po and the gang? They are my friends and your comrades

Soldier: We have no choice my dear if we don't do something about it they're going to spread communism through this entire country. If they're wise they WILL surrender. Our intel shows that they're going to attack tomorrow and that's what we're going to do.

**In a different place at a different time**

Steve Jobs: Die! Die you bastard! (shoots rapidly)

Gorge Washington You are an alien trying to take over the my three refined your'll never get away with it you hear? YOU'LL HAVE TO PRY THE 3 REFINED FROM MY COLD DEAD FINGERS.

Jobs: Hahaha but I do have YOUR SPINE! (Holds out a spine)

Washinton: Ha! I laugh at that, because I STOLE YOUR KNEECAPS (Holds out a kneecap)

Jobs: AHHHHH! (Tackles Washinton) GIVE ME YOUR THREE REFINED!

**Demoman wakes up**

Demoman: Aye what just happened?

Spy: Get ready for war my friend.

**Thanks for reading and please write a review or leave a message and if you have any new ideas I'd be happy to accept for the story.**


	17. An unexpected Twist

**In the morning.**

Heavy: Time to hid Cowards!

Po: I can't believe we have to fight Tigress and Soldier!

Demoman: Where is the bloody Engineer?!

Viper: He's been working all night on the time machine and he's working on it instead of going to the battle.

At the battle field, they saw Soldier's army along with Tigress as their co-leader. The gang including Tigress had a look of worry for they are about to fight friends but in the eyes of Soldier and Heavy there is only the struggle for power. They are willing to do whatever it takes to get to the top even if it means destroying each other. Soldier's army was large but Heavy's army had better technology and so the battle began.

Heavy: EEAHHH! (Charges at the Soldier with his army)

Soldier: ATTACK! (Rocket jumps at the Heavy along with some of his soldiers followed by a bunch of others)

**At Engineer's lab**

Engineer: Dangit namit! (Hits the time machine with his wrench) It just ain't right.

Suddenly out of nowhere Gorge Washington appeared.

Washington: Help me! Steve Jobs is trying to get my three refined!

Jobs appeared.

Jobs: Washington! You will give me three refined or you shall face the power of me.

Engineer: I reckon that ain't gonna happen.

Jobs: Hahaha! You cannot beat me! It was because of my company earbuds was released, you don't stand a chance against me!

Engineer: I'm going to report you for scamming! How's that for you, dummy.

Jobs: NOOOOOoooOOoOOoOOoo! (Can't trade ever again)

Washington: Thank you brave man for saving my three refine. I knew it was a wise choice to seek help from you. As a reward for your bravery I shall give you the time machine that I came here in.

Engineer: How in Sam hills are you suppose to get home than?

Washington: My time is up. (Peach blossoms starts to circle around him) Remember, believe in yourself, believe... (Fads into the Peach blossoms with his three refined)

The time machine cannot get Po and his friends home but it can get the tf2 gang home and stopping the war Engineer thought.

Engineer: (Packs the time machine into a box) Well, I reckon I ought get going before things get too ugly.

**At the war.**

Spy: (talking to a SE soldier) Promise not to bleed on my suit and I'll kill you quickly.

SE soldier: NO! (Punches Spy's knife, splattering blood all over his suit)

Heavy: I'll kill you with bare hands.

Soldier: No! I will eat you!

Heavy: We settle this with man-eating contest!

Soldier: Affirmative.

The Soldier was good but the Heavy was better, the Soldier could not stand a chance.

Heavy: You are not as good as you think.

Soldier: You're real good son, maybe even the best. But you will Not be missed! (Raises his,shovel) Great sprites, you WILL help me defend my point!

Lightning Struck the Soldier but the Soldier did not move the Solder just stood there.

Soldier: I am Painis Cupcake, I will eat you!

Heavy: I'll bring you pain and suffering.

The Soldier was better than ever, the Heavy did the best he could and maybe even exceeded his maximum level of man-eating but could not beat the Soldier.

Soldier: (Crawling snake-like towards the Heavy grabs him) I will eat you.

Heavy: Take this! (Shoves Buffalo Steak Sandvich into the Soldier's mouth then bites the Soldier.)

Tigress: Soldier no! (Tackles the Heavy)

Sniper: Piss off bighead! (Tackles Tigress)

Pyro: MMMMPH! (Tackles all of them)

Po: We have to help them! (Joins in)

Viper: help who? (Tackles Po)

Scout: Get on the Cap guys. (Tackles the Soldier)

Monkey and Mantis: Umm... Okay. (Tackles each other)

Demoman: (Half drunk) Huh what? (Dives in)

Medic: I am ze über match! (Tackles Tigress)

Spy: Sigh, oh please. (Grabs Shifu and joined in)

A few of the Generals who saw them also joined in.

Someone drove a tank in.

Pretty soon all of the generals and a tank was wrestling in the middle of a gun-fight.

Soldier: Never sent a boy to do a man's work. (Breaks the Scout's arms)

Scout: I regret everything! I regret everything I've ever done!

Heavy: EEEAHH! (Throws the Scout at Tigress)

Tigress Picks Po up and threw him at the Demoman.

The Pyro picks himself up and throws him at himself.

The reinforcements from other countries came and starts shooting.

Engineer arrived.

Engineer: What in Sam Hills are you doing?

Heavy: Help, now!

Engineer: Everybody stop!

Nobody stopped in fact nobody heard him from all the shooting.

Engineer: I have found a time machine!

Soldier: Finally Obama can finally be stopped!

Heavy: YES!

Soldier: Friends?

Heavy: Friends.

As soon as they managed to call off the war, they went into the time machine and left.

**What happened after they left:**

The war was cancelled however new leaders appointed by both sides tried to follow both the Heavy and the Soldier's Footsteps and managed to inflict conflict once again. Both sides unwilling to negotiate leading to war between the two sides. The Screaming Eagles (Soldier's side) had ten times as many forces as the Communists (Heavy's side) but however, the Communists had greater technology and was supported by many citizens. In the end the Communists won the battle due to to many mistakes made by the Screaming Eagles' leader forcing them to retreat to Taiwain however most of the weapons were lost in the war for both sides. The new communist leader made the plan known as the Sticky Jump Forward (name in real live Great Leap Forward) which lead to estimated 45 million death. The leader's government made mass executions to land lords as well as carrying out the Hat Revolution (Name in real life the Cultural Revolution) which lasted a decade later when the leader died. After his death there was a struggle for power, the Class of Four (Name in real life Gang of Four) were arrested and blamed for the excesses of the Hat Revolution.

**The Heavy:**

The Heavy became an influential character know as the Great Pootis and historians can find no evidence of when he left or where he went. Even today many Chinese sees the Heavy as a great hero and honored him by having a picture of him hanged in the Tiananmen Spuare. As well the Vintage Pootis was released as a hat and is currently worth over 5 refined and rising. Statues of him were built in many parks and other places and was considered one of the greatest men in the history of China.

**The Soldier:**

The soldier was also considered as a hero but his fame did not exceed Heavy. Historians said that the Soldier was spotted in Poland on a Nazi killing spree but found no sign of Chiang Kai-shek who specifically told his generals of doing so and then going to the moon. Steve Armstrong Have claimed that he did not saw Chiang Kai-shek so America was the first to reach the moon however was considered a lie to many people.

**Fear not fans (If there is any) this will not be the end there will be plenty more chapters where this is cumming from and I'm even thinking of a sequel Anyways please write a review or leave a message and fell free to message me if you have any ideas. Also if you want some ideas for a story you might write message me also (I'm best with comedy but can do others just not as good)**


	18. The Arrival

**2014.**

Engineer: Finally I reckon we're home.

Po: So where is this and what time period is it?

Spy: I believe this would be still China and we are in 2014

Scout: How the heck are we going to get home hard-hat?

Chinese person: Look, is that... the great Pootis!?

Other Chinese person: IT IS! But how he disappeared during the war?

Chinese person: Never question the great Pootis! Oh great Pootis how May we serve you?

Heavy: Give us little plane to America.

Other Chinese person: Right away great Pootis.

Po: Hey, (pointing at the picture on the Tiananmen square) that's you!

Heavy: Yes! I am greatest man in history of world!

Spy: From the looks of it the Heavy's army had won.

Soldier: (Telling Tigress) That was an amazing killing spree... BY THE OTHER TEAM!

Shifu: Without your leadership your army is no match against the Heavy's army.

Heavy: We must kill Obama!

Xi Jinping: Oh great Pootis it's an honor to meet you. Your plane is getting ready but first I insist we have lunch and bring your generals with you and... Is that? Is that Soldier the leader of the Screaming Eagles and the co-leader? Please tell me where have you guys been and why you guys had disappeared.

Soon the information on all the greatest leaders in the war between Japan and China reappearing spread out through out China then to other countries. Reporters and news crews from all over the world Arrived to China but was locked out of the room because the Heavy, Xi Jinping and the others were eating.

Xi Jinping: You see great Pootis leader I am currently in charge of China and I will make you proud.

Heavy: Unm nom nom um nom nom.

Soldier: You WILL tell me how Screaming Eagles fell!

Xi Jinping: Ah Soldier your new leader after you left had made too much military mistakes and therefore the war was lost.

Soldier: Curses, never send a boy to a man's work.

Chinese waiter: Sirs your plane has arrived.

Po: Later um nom nom this food is delicious. (eats another plate of dumpling)

**Meanwhile.**

Scientist: Obama! Obama I bring bad news the great Chinese leader known as the great Pootis is back.

Obama: Back? How? That guy should be dead by now! No matter he is no threat now that he is not leader.

Scientist: Sir, this is the great Pootis! (Holds out a picture of the Heavy)

Obama: Hey isn't that the big bald guy who we sent to kill Mao Zedong?

Scientist: I believe so sir, according to history, he was know as the great Pootis or the Pootis leader and could easily became the world's greatest leader, greater than Mao Zedong would ever be if not for the conflict with the Screaming Eagles whose leader was the Soldier and was apparently another guy that we have sent. How ever the great Pootis didn't remain leader for long because of his disappearance in the first war between the Communists and the Screaming Eagles.

Obama: So what your saying is that...

Scientist I believe that they had somehow managed to build a time machine in the middle of the war and left, but that's not all, they are currently looking for a plane to America which could only mean that they're seeking revenge!

Obama: Quick, to the White House! Block the entrances double no triple no get as many guards as you can, they must not get to me!

Scientist: Right away sir. Alerts the military leader.

**Later.**

Military leader: There, the defenses are all set. One way in, one way out, one thousand guards and one president.

Scientist: Good, I shall alert Obama right away.

**Back to the Heavy.**

Po: Ohh these are some good dumplings, can I have some more?

Waiter: We ran out sir but we do still have rice.

Po: Ok I'll have another 3 bowls of rice.

Monkey: So Tigress, you and the Soldier making out alot?

Tigress: What!? That is none of your business.

Monkey showed some pictures of Tigress and the Soldier making out that he got from the Spy.

Tigress: How!? But... How in the world!? (Grabbed one of the pictures)

Monkey: The Spy got them.

Tigress turned to the Spy and the Spy cloaked when he saw Tigress facing him a dirty look.

Heavy: Xi we must build more communism! We make world better by being communist.

Soldier: No! We must give the citizens more freedom by allowing more voting.

Demoman: Pass me another bottle of rum.

Waiter: Okay.

Shifu: I believe we must get going, the more time we waste the more time Obama has to prepare.

Heavy: Very well.

Xi Jinping: Wait before you go take this. (Hands him a Self-Made Vintage Pootis) This has been passed from leader to leader and now you can have it for we made it to honor you.

Heavy: Many thanks. Come we must get going.

They went into the plane and took off.

**Please write a review or leave a message and I'm near completion and will be writing a sequel if anybody's interested.**


	19. Obama's Last Stand

**When Heavy and the gang Arrived in America.**

Passport man: May I see your Passport?

Heavy: NO! (Throws Buffalo Steak Sandvich at the passport man.)

Passport man: Thank you sir and have a nice day.

Po: Um okay than. (Chucks a rice ball at the passport man.)

**As they got out of the Airport.**

Scout: Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!

Spy: Proceed.

Soldier: Go go go!

Po: So where are we going?

Engineer: I reckon we'er heading down to the White House. It's like that palace you told us all about but it's white.

Monkey: Found it!

Mantis: Wow look at how much people are guarding it, they've shut down all but one entrance and the guards are blocking that entrance.

Soldier: I took down tougher fortress before. Heavy lead your troops over there and I'll get my tanks to attack here, here and there and-

Po: We got no troops now we're just by ourselves.

Soldier: Then we'll just have to attack them head on.

Crane: Are you crazy?! They're-

Soldier: Yes, now move out! And remember they have better weapons then the Japanese army we fought before.

Heavy: EEEAAAHHH! (Charges into the guards with the Medic Healing him.)

Soldier: ATTACK! (Rocket Jumps to a balcony and firing 3 rockets at the White house.

Po and the others rushed in taking out more guards on the way.

Crash!

Obama: What was that?!

Guard: Sir they are attacking the us.

Obama: Deploy the Tanks and helicopters! They must not get to me!

Guard: Right alway sir.

The Soldier heard the sounds for the reinforcements.

Soldier: Demoman, you take care of the Tanks and I'll take care of the Helicopters.

Demoman: Aye mate!

Obama: Call the ninjas!

Ninjas appeared.

Po: There's to many of them we can't take them all on.

Heavy: May Pootis be truth! I will eat tiny baby men. (Grabs a few of the ninjas and ate them)

Some ninjas tried to stab the Heavy with their swords but the Heavy ate their swords as well as some little boys playing nearby.

Obama: Deploy the trained cannibals!

Guard: Don't you mean the trained dogs we use in the SWAT team?

Obama: No I mean the Cannibals we keep in the basement.

Guard: Right away sir.

The cannibals ate the guard and headed down to join the fight.

The Heavy was good but there are too many cannibals with impressive man-eating skills, the Heavy knew he would be beaten.

Heavy: Help, Now!

Soldier: (Raises his shovel) Great spirits you WILL help me get revenge on Obama! (Lightning struck him but he just stands there not moving.) I am painis cupcake, I will eat you.

The Soldier crawled in a snake-like motion towards the cannibals and starts to eat them.

The Cannibals were no match for the Soldier and were quickly eaten.

Obama: (Calling the phone) Batman, I need your help.

Batman appeared.

Batman: I'm your worst nightmare.

Heavy: NO! (Eats him.)

Soon all the guards were eaten, all the tanks blew up, all the helicopters were shot down. Obama tried to run but the Spy caught him.

Spy: You know, hiding won't save you.

Obama tried to run the other way but the Heavy blocked him.

Heavy: I promise you pain and suffering.

Obama: I'm done running, let us settle this with a man-eating contest.

Heavy: Very well.

Po: No, I will challenge him.

Monkey: Po are you sure?

Po: I see it now it is the next phase of my training as the Dragon Warrior I must beat Obama in this contest.

Obama: Shall we begin?

Po: Get ready to feel the thunder!

Po showed exceptional skills in the art of man-eating but no one knew Obama had already mastered the art of man eating to a new level. Po was no match for him.

Po: I... Can't... Beat... Him...

Viper: Yes you can! We believe in you!

Soldier: I shall lend you my help!

Lightning struck Po and Po took the hit standing as still as every.

Po: I am painis cupcake, I will eat you.

Po crawled towards Obama like a snake. And this time his man eating skills had improved a lot but somehow was still no match for Obama.

Viper: Po needs our help!

Heavy: Come, we all lend man eating skills to Po.

They joined hands concentrating on their man eating skills and lending them to Po.

Medic: Are you sure Zis will work?

Heavy: We fight together doctor.

Po could feel man eating experience flowing within him.

Po: I am painis cupcake, and I WILL eat you!

Obama was losing a little bit and started to lose even more.

Obama: NO! I'M INVINCIBLE! I'M... (He was defeated.)

Po: I did it... I DID IT!

Shifu: No we did it and that's what communism is all about.

Engineer: EEEHHHAAA!

**What happened next:**

The Soldier became the president of America and the Heavy was Commanding China even though Xi JinPing was still leader the people of China listened to the Heavy. A good relationship formed between China, America, Taiwan. The Engineer continued to work on a machine that would one day get Po and friends home but he was in no rush. Merasmus moved into the White House as Soldier's roommate and stayed there even when Soldier and Tigress got married. As for the others, some choose to stay with the Soldier and some choose to be under the Heavy's command. They however still once in a while fight in the desert for hats and weapons.

**The End **(To this but there will be a chapter after this and a sequel.)

**I hope you enjoyed this series and remember there is still a chapter after this and a sequel. Anyways please write a review telling other people how awesome this is and I'm always open to new ideas just message me.**


	20. Preview of Sequel

**Right after Soldier and Heavy's army defeated the Japanese.**

Osama Bin Laden wasn't dead, no he was still alive. Since nobody in the Soldier's army knew what he looked like, he got one of the raiders to pretend to be him and once again fake his death. However, Soldier's assault had only left him around two hundred surviving Terrorists. He was defeated. Then he remembered the Burning Team Captain he got from Obama, he knew there was little to do. He was going to delete it from his inventory.

Person voice: Wait a moment please.

Osama: Who are you?

Person: Who am I matters not but your destiny awaits.

Osama: I am defeated, my man eating skills are great but there is no way I could beat them.

Person: Ahh, I have faced the Heavy, his skills are indeed better but with the right help you can beat him.

Osama: The Heavy? No you're mistaken, I was talking about the Soldier, he controls a spirit of unimaginable power...

Person: You don't mean?

Osama: The painis cupcake.

Person: No matter, I have a plan for you; you will go into the world from which the one called Po came from and take over it.

Osama: Po? You mean the Panda guy?

Person: Indeed.

Osama: I thought they were Biological experiments.

Person: No you see, they belong to a different world, a world which you must conquer. There you will meet a peacock who had a similar fate as you now have together with your terrorist army you shall bring the emperor in their world down to it's knees and achieve total dictatorship.

Osama: Who are you anyways?

Person: That you'll not find out.

Osama: How will I get there?

Person: Prepare your army I will take you there.

Osama: And how will you do that?

Person: I have my ways.

Osama: Alright troops move out!

**Po's world in ancient China.**

Lord Shen survived just barely after his army and canons were defeated. Now with only a few survivors they were hiding in the woods. The more he thought about it the more it scared him; how his entire army was stopped by only less than 10 people. How much he longed for revenge but how?

Just then, a bunch of people appeared out of nowhere. Shen tried to hide but one of the people found him.

Osama: Lord Shen is it?

Shen: Who are you?

Osama: A friend. Now come, I have a plan for both of us.

Shen: A plan?

Osama: Yes you see we are much alike you and I. (Hands him plans and some blueprints)

Shen: (Took a look at the plans and blueprints.) I like this plan...

**To be continued in the sequel 'Kung Fu Panda and the dictatorship of Lord Shen (Plus team fortress 2)**

**This concludes Kung Fu Panda and the Communists of China, I would appreciate it if you guys write a review or leave a message. Also please email me if you have any new ideas. Thank you for reading and hope you enjoyed if and please check out the sequel.**

**Regards,**

**The communist cannibal **


	21. Bonus Chapter How Spy killed Mao Zedong

The spy infiltrated Mao's headquarter disguised as a guard, he made his way to Mao's room.

Mao: Guard state your business.

Spy: (Reveals his disguise.) Sorry to pop in unannounced, it appears you have a spy in your base.

Mao: Who are you?

Spy: I'll see you I hell. (Grabs out gun and shoots Mao.)

Mao's body dropped to the flour not moving.

Spy: Well, off I go now.

Mao: I believe you dropped this? (Holds out a Dead Ringer.)

Spy:What- (Mao punched the Spy the spy in the face.)

Mao: Who are you? I want answers now or I'll stab you with this... (Grabs a plunger.) Plunger.

Spy: Oh please you cannot beat me.

Mao: Oh but I can. (Stabs the Spy with the plunger but was blocked.)

Spy: Let's settle this like gentlemen. (Grabs knife.)

Mao: Very well let's settle this once and for all.

Mao was a good knife fighter but the Spy was better. At last the Spy had managed to slab Mao in the stomach.

Spy: Nothing personal. (Reaches for the finale stab.)

Mao blocked the knife and ate it.

Mao: I will show you a living hell! (Grabs a flamethrower that's lying right next to the plunger.)

Spy: Oh no.

Just then the spirit of Oog Way showed up.

Oog Way: Mao Zedong, your time is up...

Mao: No, the communists needs a leader, without me China will fall.

Oog Way: You are not destined to be the communist leader.

Mao: What...! But master I worked all my life towards building communism please give it to me so I can become a great communist leader!

Oog Way: I could not give you the Vintage pootis because you are not the one...

Enraged Mao laid waste to several countries cutting a swath of destruction in his fury before charging back to his room and trying to take the vintage pootis by force. The Spy charged at Mao trying to stop the communist leader once and for all but failed. He was stopped by Oogway's spirit, who jabbed multiple pressure points in Mao Zedong's chest, blocking his chi and knocking him out.

Oog Way: Remember Spy believe... Believe...

Spy: (Recover from shock) Well, all in a day's work.

**This is my first bonus chapter I thought it would be cool if I made chapters on scenes that have not been shown in the story. if you wanted to me to write any more parts that was not shown in the story just tell me in a review or by sending me a mail.**


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